Big Time Medicine
by Wastland247
Summary: A member of the band falls ill and has to go to the closest hospital. Too bad that happens to be the same hospital that one of the most infuriating people on the planet happens to work at.
1. Opening: Misdirection

Hello and welcome to my story. I would like to kick things off by saying thank you for clicking on it. I would absolutely love if you would give me some feedback on what is going on in the story. In case you could not tell, this is a crossover story between House M.D. and Big Time Rush. I will say this, don't expect there to be a lot of explanation for the illness at hand. I am not a doctor nor do I plan on being one any time soon but going in the same vein as the show House I will focus more on the interactions between characters.

Right now I'm leaning towards Logan being the most focused on character from Big Time Rush and House and Wilson being the obvious choices from the show House. If anyone would like to give me their input on who they feel should be focused on I'd be more than happy to listen, especially if you have a good reason. I'll always listen but I can't guarantee that you will change my mind.

And finally even though it won't make any difference, I don't own this story not even any of the characters.

* * *

"Man, that was a great concert," Kendall said as he walked into the green room with the rest of the band, Big Time Rush, behind him. It had been a good performance and a really energetic crowd. "I think it might just be safe to say that that was our best performance yet," He said as he flopped onto the couch.

"You know it was!" Carlos screamed as he bounced into the room right behind James and Logan. "Did you see those two girls in the front row? They were hot. Logan, do you think we could get them to double with us?" The hyper Latino practically screamed at the brains of their whole group.

Logan looked at his friend with something akin to a mixture of exhaustion and a lack of care, "I don't think that's a good idea, Carlos. Do you remember what happened last time you brought a fan back here?" Logan watched his friend as he spoke; wanting to make sure he heard and understood him. When there was no answer Logan let out a sigh, as he moved to sit on the couch next to Kendall, and explained, "Last time you brought a girl from the crowd back here she wound up screaming the whole time, sneaked onto the tour bus, tried to hide in Kendall's bunk, and stole my underwear," Logan began to rub his eyes as if trying to rid himself of his exhaustion. "I don't think I'd like to go through that again."

"What are the odds that that'll happen again?" Carlos asked with an innocent expression, making Logan let out a heavy sigh. Carlos knew what that meant and decided to change his target, "James, how about you?" He asked as he turned to his friend who was even now looking in the mirror to make sure his hair was just right.

"Yeah, man," James said as he turned to look at the three others in the room. "There's always more to love and plenty of girls to love a face this handsome," he said as he brought his hands up close to his face and then brought them down wiggling his fingers as he did so, just like he always did. "So, which two girls were you talking about? Was it the two in seats four and five, one of the ones in seats seven through nine, or the two in seats twenty and twenty-one?" James said as he leaned against the wall with the mirror on it.

"How do you only have a C in math if you can memorize numbers like that," Kendall asked as he let out a laugh. "You can always remember a girl's number like that, or at least most of the time you can, but you never use that to help you with your homework," He said as he shook his head back and forth, still chuckling.

"Because that's not nearly as important as the ladies," James said with a waggle of his eyebrow. "And besides, math from class just doesn't seem to stick the same way phone numbers do. Not a clue why," He finished, laughing along with his friends. Looking back in the mirror to make a few adjustments to his hair, James noticed something in the reflection. "Kendall, is your nose bleeding?"

Kendall brought his hand to his upper lip and felt a hot gooey liquid, "I guess I am. I don't remember getting hit or anything. I wonder what happened." As he spoke he pinched the bridge of his nose and tilted his head back, just like he had always been told to do when he got a nose bleed from playing hockey. "It's not too bad," He said with a wave of his hand.

"How many times have I told you guys," Logan said with another sigh. "You don't tilt your head back. That's actually much worse. you could wind up having blood clot in your throat and choke yourself." Getting up from the couch he walked over to a box of Kleenexes, he took a couple and handed them to Kendall. "Hold these to your nose and look down." Logan continued to watch, with Carlos hovering over his shoulder so he could get a better look, Kendall to make sure he was alright.

"Oh my God, what happened," Mrs. Knight said as she came into the room with Katie right beside her, both had the same look of horror and a cup of coffee in hand.

"Kendall got a nose bleed but it doesn't look too bad," Carlos said without turning away from Kendall.

"No, she means why is James passed out on the floor?" Katie said as both she and her mother were kneeling down next to James to see if he was alright.

Everyone, including Kendall who dropped the tissue he was holding to his nose, rushed to join Katie and Mrs. Knight on the floor. "We're going to need to call the hospital," Logan said as he pulled out his cell phone and began to dial nine-one-one. Trying to make sure that he was okay, Mrs. Knight took James's head in her lap as she gently said his name, hoping beyond hope that he would be alright.


	2. House of Abuse and Misuse

Yet another chapter in the saga that is Big Time Rush meets House, M.D. I cannot say that I'm entirely surprised that the story got so few hits with the first chapter, it does after all require a person to either like both shows or have some level of morbid curiosity as to the subject of the whole thing. At any rate, if you're reading this I thank you for reading farther than the first part. I hope I did a decent job of keeping House in character and not letting him be too mean or nice. Let me know what you thought about this whole thing in a comment.

I always welcome constructive criticism and if you would like to flame please keep it short. I know this probably is not the best chapter I have ever done, given the rather abrupt ending and what not, but it will be getting better. Granted I keep up with this story.

* * *

A small and quirky man, with an odd fixation with touching his chin every other few minutes, sat on a table in the middle of a small room, the lights turned off. He had a thermometer in his mouth and he kept glancing at the watch wrapped around his arm. Bringing his arm up so that he could check it once again he looked up and said with a meek voice, "It's been over fifteen minutes now. Can I take this out of my mouth yet?"

"No, you see that's the only thing that's been keeping you from talking my ear off for the past fifteen minutes," The doctor said as he paused his game of Metroid. Dropping it to his lap, he continued to speak, "I'm waiting for a colleague of mine to get here to give me a second opinion." With that he un-paused his game and continued his onslaught of aliens but said one last thing before he quit the conversation completely, "Now, would you please shut up."

The man on the table looked at his doctor then down at his watch, before then touching his chin again, and quietly asked, "Can you really talk to me like that?"

"Of course I can," the doctor said in a suddenly booming voice, using it to overwhelm the small man and keep him quiet by intimidation. He did not really care why the patient was quiet just simply that he was quiet. "I'm a doctor, a damn good one at that, and I can talk to you that way because I am able to. The real question should have been 'Are you allowed to talk to me like that?' because that one goes into far stickier territory," He then shrugged and continued to play his game again, almost as though what he had said were common day practice.

The man again looked down in defeat almost at the exact same moment that another person entered the room. He looked around the door before coming all the way inside, asking a question as he did, "What do you want now House?" His voice was tired and more than a little annoyed and his face wore an expression to match.

"I wanted to know, do you want to get a burger for lunch at that new place down the street?" The man named 'House' said with the seemingly same lack of care that he used with all of his tones of voice. The man at the door looked down to his feet and let out an audible sigh before he began to turn to leave. "Come on Wilson, it's almost lunch and I don't want to go alone," House said as he finally turned his game off and sat it on the counter, "I wasn't sure how to say this but I need you in my life. Will you please make our love official and take a pretty little girl like me out on a date?" Making the patient that was still in the room feel as awkward as possible, try to look away so he would not seem like he was eavesdropping as he again touched his chin.

"Cut the crap House, what do you really want?" Wilson said as he turned back around to glare at House.

"Testy today aren't we?" House said looking ever so slightly elated that he got under his best friends skin, though it was nothing out of the ordinary. "But really, I just want you to go so I won't have to pay and you can deter any potential harpy waitresses that are still too young to want a nice guy like you but eat up crippled bad boys like me," He said with yet another straight face despite the fact that he had again insulted his 'friend'.

"Yeah fine, maybe they'll make some decent fries," Wilson said with another sigh, as House began to stand grabbing his cane and putting his game in his pocket. Even though he had been insulted and humiliated in front of a patient he did not let it show, well he did not let it show too much, that it had irritated him. Dr. James Wilson knew a few ways to irritate his 'friend'.

The patient still in the room, having been treated as if he were not even there, lifted his arm as he tried to get House's attention. "What's wrong with your patient?" Wilson asked, trying to help the man out in some small way.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot about the guy," House said, turning towards the patient and leaning towards him using his cane to balance himself so he could lean in even closer. Whether House was attempting to get closer to continue intimidating him or simply wanted to continue making a spectacle of himself as he was roundly a jerk would remain unknown. "You don't wash your hands, or at least you don't wash them very well, after you use the bathroom, do you?"

"Of course I do," The patient said in response, getting a little offended at the accusation.

"Amazing, you're a bad liar on top of being a spineless wimp. At any rate, you have a slight bacterial infection. It's from your lack of cleaning after you go 'number two'," House said putting added weight on the reference to the potty, "and your almost insistent need to touch your face all the time. All in all, I'll arrange for a nurse to take you up to one of the rooms upstairs and give you a shot." House then turned to Wilson and said as he walked past him, "I'm going to go get my wallet."

Once House passed, Wilson politely nodded to the patient and made to follow, closing the door on his way out. "I thought you said that you were going to make me pay?" Wilson questioned.

House stopped at the nurse's station to tell them what need to be done with the man in the room they had just left. "You're paying but I'm driving," House said quickly as he made his way to the elevator. "Besides, I want to see if Adams will loan me some money."

"Does your leeching know no bounds?" Wilson asked as he rubbed his eyebrows. "I'll be waiting for you down here, please be quick."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to hobble as fast as I can," the man with a limp said as he got on the elevator. Pushing the button and watching the doors close, it was a relatively quick ride to his floor. When the elevator dinged and opened its doors House began to make his way to his office. As he made his way there he noticed that the nurses seemed to be more chatty with one another than usual, not in the 'How was your weekend' kind of way but more of a 'Something big is going on' sort of thing. Opening the door to his diagnostic room, where his team now sat, he asked one very simple question, "What's going on?"

"You're going to like this," Adams said with a warm smile, "You like to treat famous people, right?" House simply nodded his head. Waiting to hear who it was this time, he would only be happy once he knew it was someone he liked.

"He's not going to be thrilled about this one," Chase said casually without looking up from his newspaper. Park and Taub nodded in agreement, or rather Park nodded and Taub gave more of a grunt in agreement, both never stopped their reading. It was clear none of them, aside from Adams, thought this case was very serious.

"And how do you know that he won't like this one?" She asked with a slight glare.

With that question Chase put the newspaper down and looked back at Adams, not flinching in the slightest at the look she was giving him, and he said, "Because, House doesn't care about lame pop stars. Honestly, it seems more like the Forman is giving us this case because he wants to make the hospital look good."

House raised his eyebrows at that, "Pop stars," He was interested now, but only slightly, "as in plural? But, you also said they were lame, so that most likely rules out anyone I'd care for. Is it," He paused waiting to build the tension, "Paris Hilton?" Chase shook his head as if to say 'no'. House would not be deterred though; he looked up and tapped his chin with his finger, giving all the trademark hints of thinking as he continued to contemplate out loud, "No, she hasn't been a valid pop culture reference in almost ten years. What's curious though, is that Chase instantly assumes that I won't like the person because they're pop stars," House said pointedly looking at Chase.

"So I don't like pop stars," Chase said throwing his hands in the air, dropping the newspaper to the table, "it's not like they get idolized by teenagers for doing stupid things like making sex tapes." Chase made it a point to look anywhere but at House, knowing that he would assume the outburst to have some deeper meaning that he would analyze to no end.

Everyone in the room was looking from Chase to House, waiting for something to be said that would relieve the tension present in the room. House was the first to speak, "Alright lets go see who this mystery patient is."

House then made his way out of the room; everyone exchanged looks before quickly following close behind him. As they turned a corner they were met by nurses trying to steal a glance at the people inside one of the patient rooms, failing miserably at being inconspicuous. Without a second glance House walked into the room in question, swinging the door wide open so his team could follow him inside. "I hear we have some famous people in the building and I was wondering if I could get an autograph," He said as he looked from one person to the next, scanning and assessing what they were as a collective: The first boy had a look of defiance in him, making him the leader or the bad boy, the second boy was in the sick bed and also the most physically attractive so he would be the pretty boy, the third wore a helmet, making him look more than a little insane, he would be more of a wild card, and the last boy kept glancing at the equipment hooked up to the 'pretty' one which could either mean he was the smart one or the caring one, and the other two were clearly the mother and sister of one of the boys.

House then understood without a doubt what they were, "You're a boy band." His tone was more than a little let down, he had been hoping for a model. "I'll let my lovely assistants take care of things from here," He said before turning and leaving the others in the room.

"I told him he wouldn't like it," Chase said under his breath to Taub, who chuckled at the comment.

The boys looked around not sure what exactly happened before Carlos spoke up, "Who was that?"

"That was Dr. House," Park said aloud, "He's the one in charge of this whole thing."

Kendall then looked at all the doctors in the room before he turned to their smartest member of the band, "Logan, why don't you go see what you can find out from Dr. House. You speak doctor pretty well after all." Logan nodded and followed after the doctor on the run.

"Honestly, I don't even know why I'm here. I'm fine," James said as he began to laugh from being nervous. "It's not like I'm that sick any way. I got tired from the concert and I passed out, nothing to worry about. What could possibl –"his eyes then moved to something that he had not noticed before. There was a tray of needles intended for giving sick people shots, Logan had been sitting in front of them before which is why he had not seen them before. "Are those shots?" He then passed out yet again.


End file.
